HAPPINESS OF AN INDIVIDUAL IS IN MAKING OTHERS HAPPY!!!

 

 

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This is just a thought for the day that almost everyone experiences in the life. Maximum time of our life goes in making others happy. Thinking ,planning, working, struggling, convincing, compromising and even sacrificing we try to make others happy and we take a small share of happiness from that. A man has to see if his child is happy, if his wife is happy, if his boss is happy and if the neighbors are happy with him. There are two points of view regarding this aspect. First one is expecting others to make me happy and the second view is making others happy and be happy in that. But finally this is the field almost everyone fails in this modern world. People struggle to find reasons to be sad throughout the day and in that pursuit they miss many of the happy moments and remain permanently sad. After making maximum effort if we see others still sad that will make us really sad and defeated. Life is very short and we have to live that happily not leave that sadly. Don’t make life so complicated and enjoy every essence of togetherness, relations, friendships and social contacts and make the day really awesome. Go to sleep at night with some beautiful memories of the day which will give you hope and positive vibes for the next day. The problems of the world is not on our head, we have a simple beautiful life which is a gift of God and live that the way he likes. When we live the life the way He doesn’t like we will be definitely unhappy.

“HAPPINESS IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING EVEN THE RICHEST PEOPLE ARE IN SEARCH OF BUT THE EASIEST THING TO FIND”

WE STAND IN WATER AND LOOK FAR AT THE OASIS TO SLAKE OUR THIRST.

HI FRIENDS LET US BE HAPPY AND OUR HAPPINESS WILL MAKE OTHERS ALSO HAPPY.

LOVE YOU ALL

THANK YOU FOR READING..

Hurdles in life.

When the life shows a slow down, it becomes difficult to adjust with that. The life is not just a bed of roses is reality but accepting this reality is too hard and that makes the life harder. While driving there are signals which shows the hump ahead and that is a reminder to slow down the speed. If we ignore these signals definitely will have to face the consequence. When there is a hump or speed breaker many of the drivers feel irritated but never think about the purpose of that hump. Authorities will not make such speed breakers or hump for fun or to simply irritate the drivers but with a definite purpose and for the safety and well being of both the drivers and others.

In the journey of life the sole authority is God and if he makes regulations and poses humps and hurdles in life we have to understand the fact with same thinking that there is some reason for that. Man proposes and God disposes is really meaningful. We make a number of plans in life and wishes that life should go in that track only but it goes always in the track decided by God. We do not complain about anything that happen in life only if we have faith in God and those who complain about everything are those who do not have faith in Him and believe themselves better in planning and executing ideas than God. If we analyse our life hundred percentage what happens is not what we planned. We drive ahead when the road is visible and not sure about the road and its condition ahead. So in any situation of life trust that there is a way ahead. One of my friend sent a good caption yesterday that a honey bee does not worry when the honey is taken away by man frequently because it believes that man can take only the honey made by it not its art of making honey. But we human in place of honey bee immediately stop our effort with the very first blow in life. Even the lesson Alexander learnt from the spider is also relevant. When he was almost defeated in war he hid himself in a cave where he observed a spider making its web. From one rock to the near by rock the spider jumped so many times without admitting failure and finally after hundreds of attempts the spider was able to reach the rock on the other side and made its web successfully. The struggle in life is not just a part of our life but every living being in this nature has its own way of struggling for survival but only human complains others animals and creatures neither complain nor admit failure until death. There are many lessons we can learn from honey bee, beetle,ant, butterfly, firefly and many other animals which are real inspiration for modern man to deal with the hardships of life.

MIND YOUR MIND EXERCISE – 2

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Will power is very important in achieving any goal you set n your life and that is something the modern children do not have. Children did whatever told by the elders, went to the school where they are taken, ate the food which was given, studied the subjects taught by others, went to a college where they got admission (not getting admission in the college where they want), completed the course which others said is good and now free in life, to face the odds and adversities of life but all those others who were leading him and whose life he was living without his knowledge are not with him. He never lived his life for him and for his own happiness and he had no personal aim. He had blind faith in those others that whatever he wants they will give and whatever they decide in his life will be good. He absolutely forgot to live his life for him. In such situation how can that person to be bold, courageous, capable, talented, self reliant and develop strong will power??????. There are some simple steps to regain our will power.

  1. Every time you have to do something you don’t want to do, every time you feel under an obligation, take some time to think and find the reasons why you want to do whatever it is you think you should do. There are always reasons why you want to do something. If you don’t find a reason better you don’t do that. Ask yourself the question ‘why”.
  2. Define what you want precisely rather than in general terms: what? When? Where? How? You should think about these questions only if you got the answer of Why.
  3. It would be futile to mobilize your willpower if what you want is impossible. Knowing yourself and your capabilities and also generating confidence in those abilities are essential stages in the process of getting what you want. Ask yourself ‘Can I do this?’ and try to feel the answer in the depth of your being. A yes or No will condition your future commitment.
  4. Before committing yourself to a voluntary act ask yourself one last question “Am I really sincere?” There may be hundreds of reasons for undertaking something that you really don’t want to do. Pleasing someone else, keeping up appearances, trying to be perfect and so on. Answering the question “Am I really sincere?” will prevent you from doing things for the wrong reason.
  5. Start your day with some simple voluntary actions and routines which you are interested in.
  6. Finally set goals for yourself and use the same process to achieve them.

Thank you for reading…

MIND YOUR MIND EXERCISES -1

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Mind is the most important factor which we have to keep clean and healthy in our life. A weak and imbalanced mind makes everything else in the life meaningless. Our material richness, physical health, social relationships, career and family relationships will be directly affected if we do not have a healthy and balanced mind set. That is the reason in the modern stressful life meditation, yoga and mental exercises are inevitable to lead a happy life. Mind will be always working on some thoughts and the worst matter is that the mind of majority will be running like a mad horse. For example a person started to think about morning breakfast and thought what to make, which vegetable to use, from where vegetable comes, thought about the farmers, their financial security, about government, thought about beautiful farms, thought about beautiful place, thought about a foreign tour, thought about Switzerland and right now the person is enjoying his holiday in beautiful snowy location. What we have to observe is that all these thoughts happened in less than five seconds. He started with his breakfast and reached Switzerland in five seconds. Example may be funny but this is what happens with the mind control and focus of the majority. Mind is always searching for something better which gives more happiness. People take happiness from imagination. Though he did not go to Switzerland, he could take some happiness in that thought. In this process of finding happiness there will be always a trial and error system in the mind and that happens in a fraction of second.

The next bad habit of mind is to force you to think what you do not want to think. The more you try to avoid a thought the more frequently that will come to your mind. Sad experiences, humiliations, insults, arguments, failures, loss, people whom you don’t like, work which you hate, your weakness and your incapability are the factors that use the maximum energy of your mind. Psychologically thinking about these factors is good only if they yield positive results. If thinking about your weakness makes you weaker, better not to think. But if that inspires to be strong, the thoughts about your weakness are good. If thoughts about negatives have to yield positive results we should have a healthy and balanced mind. Majority think about their sadness and become sadder which is the saddest part of life.

Now the thought in my mind is how to saddle the mad horse (mind) and bring under control????? I will be happy if my readers come with your valuable suggestions which will help me to learn more.

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Thank you for reading….Love you all….

21 IDEAS FOR SELF IMPROVEMENT IN A MONTH!!!!

  1. Detoxify your speech. Reduce the use of cuss words. Be polite.
  2. Read every day. Doesn’t matter what. Choose whatever interests you.
  3. Promise yourself that you will never talk rudely to your parents. They never deserve it.
  4. Observe people around you. Imbibe their virtues.
  5. Spend some time with nature every day.
  6. Feed the stray animals. It feels good to feed the hungry.
  7. No ego, no ego, no ego. Just learn, learn and learn.
  8. Don’t hesitate to clarify a doubt. He who asks a question remains fool for five minutes. He who doesn’t ask remains fool forever.
  9. Whatever you do, do it with full involvement. That is meditation.
  10. Keep distance from people who give you negative vibes but never hold grudge.
  11. Stop comparing yourself with others. If you don’t stop you will never know your own potential.
  12. The biggest failure in life is the failure to try.
  13. I cried as I had no shoes until I saw a man without feet. Never complain
  14. Plan your day. It takes few minutes but makes your entire day awesome.
  15. Every day sit in silence for few minutes. Sit alone with positive thoughts, magic will flow.
  16. In a healthy body resides the healthy mind. Do not litter it with junk.
  17. Eat only home cooked food for one month.
  18. Keep your body hydrated always. Practice drinking 8-10 glass of water every day.
  19. Make a habit to eat at least one serving of raw vegetable salad on a daily basis.
  20. Take care of health. He who has health has hope and he who has hope everything.
  21. Life is short. Life is simple. Do not complicate it. Don’t forget to smile.

 

In addition, make peace with your past so that it doesn’t spoil your present. What others think of you is not in your control so it is none of your business to worry about that. Time heals everything, so give time some time. Only you are the reason of your happiness. Stop thinking too much, it is really alright not to know all the answers. Just smile because you don’t own all the problems of the world.

Thank you for reading….

HOW TO MAKE USE OF TIME????!!!!

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We will consider the statements of an ordinary unsuccessful individual perhaps applicable to millions of people. “I don’t have time for anything” Where is time for enjoyments, leisure, reading, to be with family, doing works, minding inevitable responsibilities and so on but they always complain why nothing in their life improve. They never think what they are doing with the precious time given to them by God. Are they making use of it or taking it lightly. Every lazy person has a wonderful excuse of TOMORROW which never comes in their life. “What we think of doing tomorrow, do it today and what we are thinking of doing today do it now”.

A person who is unsuccessful and cries that he has not time is like a person who sits in front of food and cries about his hunger. Time is decided by the mood and interest of every person. If you sit in a boring class one hour will seem like three hours and if you are watching an interesting movie three hours will go like fifteen minutes. If you are waiting for your loved one time goes very slowly and when you talk with your loved one time goes fast. When you are sad time is slow and when you are happy time is fast. A person who knows every answer of the questions will find three hours of examination insufficient but a person who doesn’t know the answers three hours examination will be like 24 hours meditation. A lecturer who is giving a boring lecture looks at his watch every five minutes and a lecturer who is involved in the topic and class will be restless when hears the bell. Time is very precious when we are waiting for others and time valueless when others are waiting for us. So finally time is not decided by clock, it is decided by the mood, attitude and interest of the individual.

In relationship, time is the best investment which will give you hundred fold guaranteed return.

Whether we become successful or unsuccessful is the complete outcome how did we use the time given to us. There are millions of successful and great people and more than that unsuccessful and unimportant ordinary individuals struggling with life. One thing we have to think over again and again is that those great people like Abraham Lincoln, Bill gates, Jack Ma, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi  have 24 hours in a day 7 days in a week, 30 days in a month and 365 days in a year… same like us. They did not get the special privilege of 450 days in a year. How did they use the time in their life brought the entire difference. Opportunity will not fall into the lap of lazy people. So we have to think twice before complaining that we have no time.

It depends upon the commonsense and maturity of a person with which he uses his time. For example, two poor persons were 100 dollar each. One went and bought a nice shoe which he was dreaming since many years and the other one bought 20kg rice which was enough for his family for one month. The next day there was a knock on the door of the second person and to his surprise that was the first person who came to ask little rice for that day. What we have to think is, are we the first person or second person while dealing with the resource of time given to us equally by God. Those who invest their time fruitfully will become successful and those who waste their time will go and wait for the concern of those successful people and work lifelong under them. There you will be forced to use your time for them or else you will be fired. There you take more tension and stress because you are not comfortable with that way of using time. So every now and then change the job trying to find where you can use your time the way comfortable for you and at the same time earn something to live. Isn’t it a strange human tendency that we find everywhere in the society?????. A one hour emergency work will be taken lightly and kept aside thinking that can be finished in just one hour and finally the person will have to struggle to finish that work in fifteen minutes and the work is either incomplete or imperfect.

Many people have mastered the art of “being busy doing nothing” which is the curse of the society.

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Thank you for reading…

MADE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!.. YES OURSELVES.

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Sometimes I hear people looking at the couple during the wedding ceremony making this statement, “they are indeed made for each other”. This makes me little curious what do they consider prior to making this statement. Answer is clear, their external appearance, their face cut, their height, fat or slim, education, family status, religious status, social status, financial status and so on.. But considering those two individuals who entered in to a new life together are these topics relevant enough to take them as a MADE FOR EACH OTHER couple???? In fact what the society took as criteria to judge the couple is just trivial.

In my opinion, perhaps the reader may disagree, there is no couple in this world who are made for each other but they MADE THEMSELVES FOR EACH OTHER after their marriage. Those who fail to make themselves for each other prefer to split. Make ourselves for each other is a wide topic. Every individual is unique and with their own tastes and preferences. When two unique individuals unite there will be hundreds of differences which grin at their relationship. Adjustments and compromising from both individual is essential for the better family life. Finally they make themselves for each other and after doing this we can see a couple “MADE FOR EACH OTHER”. Compromising and adjusting will be hard in the initial stage but it becomes a part of our life later. I learn to like what my wife likes and she learns to like what I like. While going to a party I selected a black dress and she took a navy blue shirt and told me to wear that. Finally it is not me who has to judge how I look like; it is the opinion of others, so she won’t go wrong. In the party someone said “wow nice dress”, she raised her eyebrows twice to ask me how is her selection. She feels proud and I have to be proud that I have her in my life.

There was an astrologer and a young man came to him to ask about his future. The astrologer told him that he will have a very tough time till the age of 35. He will have to face all the problems and adversities and struggle a lot to make up with that. The young man became bit sad hearing that but suddenly his face lit up and asked eagerly. So after 35 I will have a good life? The astrologer answered, NO…. after 35 you will be habituated with that life. The tough time of the young man started immediately after hearing that statement. It is a simple funny example.

“But in life whatever adjustments and compromises we make out of true love will become our habit” and that makes a couple really made for each other. What we really miss in our modern world is the romantic smile of people without teeth and with grey hair. Only people made for each other reach that stage.

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Thank you for reading…

 

 

 

AN EMPTY CHAIR….TAUGHT ME A LESSON..

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We are living in a world where everyone expects everything to be perfect though it is a commodity or relationship. I expect everything with me and everyone with me to be perfect or else I find it difficult to accept. If it is a thing I would reject and if it is relationship I would struggle to mend it. But in all these process I have uncompromising attitude to be accepted by others the way I am, with all my good and bad attitudes. This is the point I actually go wrong and ignore. If I go to purchase a utensil I want the best one and after selecting one I would search for any scratch, dent or anything wrong with that. Even if there is a small scratch I reject that. But I want people to accept me with all my scratches and dents in my character, personality and life. And if they don’t accept I blame them, I feel hurt, I make an essay of negative thoughts and permanently live in that. I want people to come near me and make friendship with me but when I see them ignoring me I feel sad. There are many things I realize now that lack of perfection might be the route cause for rejection.

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When I went to a wedding banquet, there were so many people who were searching for an empty chair where they can sit comfortably, relax and have food. There was an empty chair but all those who come near it go forward in search of another one. I just observed the reason for that. There was a small drop curry and a spot of ice cream on the chair. It might be used by a careless person or a kid previously who left that chair with these problems.( a deep thought how a person becomes imperfect). (Everyone has got this curry and ice cream in their plate but could not tolerate a drop of it somewhere else…a paradoxical thought). Who wants to dirty their dress in the company of that chair? That was the point where I realized why there is less acceptance for me too. There might be something that people doesn’t like in me. So we should strive to be what others like, our attitudes, talks, mannerism, life style, education and total perfection though not possible. So wherever am rejected, I have to think why and correct that. Though we can never become perfect, making an attempt for that will help a lot.

Finally after nearly half an hour an old person, not well dressed came with a plate in his hand and slowly sat on that chair ignoring its imperfections. Finally the chair got someone who accepted that and the old man is not worried whether his dress will be dirty or he is least bothered in finding the imperfection of that chair which will help him to relax. Everyone was with a one or two napkin in their hand and I didn’t see anyone, even in their desperate search for a chair making an attempt to clean those drop of curry and ice cream and sit on that chair. We can’t expect people to correct us and accept us. Correction should be done by ourselves and then automatically we will find acceptance.

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A CHAIR TAUGHT ME A LOT THAT DAY…

Thank you for reading……

“WE FIND OTHERS SELFISH ONLY IF WE ARE SELFISH!!!!

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From infancy to old age the word selfishness is a part of our life. If we analyse an infant, in front of it if the mother hug the elder kid it starts crying. How can we interpret this reaction? Isn’t it a mild and innocent selfishness that it needs the complete care of mother and can’t sacrifice even a little for others?? The elder one also thinks many times that after the entry of the new member his share of mother’s love is reduced, though it is not the fact. Once the children grow they always prefer the best for them. There will be comparisons, arguments and even fighting for little things. Let it be a piece of cake or fish fry, they will compete for the bigger and best piece. They consider each and every action of parents to analyze who is getting more care. So the seed of selfishness that was within the infant grows and takes different dimensions and seriousness when they grow.  Once they become adults selfishness becomes a part of their serious life. In this point we have to realize that there is no love without selfishness. We adjust with the selfishness of the partner as long as there is true love and if there is no true love we find them selfish. It is a feeling that everything in the life should be as I wish and am not ready to sacrifice any point for the preference of others. If we do not understand the need of others and continue calling it their selfishness, the relationship becomes a battle field. There we behave like those children who took every incident to analyze who has more right.

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This selfishness is the basic reason for the increase of small families. Can’t adjust with the brothers, sisters and even with parents. So people prefer to enjoy their full life, time, money and space without sharing that with anyone. This is the serious stage of selfishness. Finally one contradictory thought “WE FIND OTHERS SELFISH ONLY IF WE ARE SELFISH’. If I want something to happen the way I wish and found another person expecting different way I immediately call him selfish but in reality it is me who is selfish. I expect that if I label him selfish he may leave the matter to my preference. If everything considered as the requirement of others and the need of others we won’t judge them as selfish. Those dear and near ones are asking for your love, care, recognition, concern and sympathy which they are badly in need of. Then how can we ignore them labelling as selfish people. Are we not the real selfish people?????

There is only one person in the life of everyone with whom you can’t find even a speck of selfishness if we evaluate with our heart not with mind and that is our biological mother. She sacrifices everything for the happiness of others and always gives the best to others. A small example which I observed in different homes, mother makes dosa (Indian food), chapatti or rotti and while serving she gives the best one, perfectly cooked for others and as a result of managing different works at the same time there might be one or two over cooked or slightly burnt food which she always keeps for herself. In this simple example we can see the vast love of mother who is never selfish. But unfortunately these innocent givers are abandoned and ignored in many homes. Others may be selfish and even father may be selfish in one or the other way, not a mother. She is the best person in everyone’s life from whom we can learn the lessons of selfless benevolence.

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Thank you for reading..

CULINARY SKILLS DISAPPEARING FROM HOME!!!???

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“The taste of the variety of food let it be even chutney, my grandmother was extraordinary and that taste is still in my soul”. I think even my reader might have made this statement somewhere in life because in this modern world tasty homely food became a part of history. Moreover nowadays none is much worried about taste at home. Make something (don’t know which thing, but finally it becomes something) have that and go. Let me introduce why I can write something about it. We were three boys at home and I am the last one. I don’t know exactly when why but I became an assistant of my mother in kitchen. Initially that was a forceful duty and later I started to like that. Why I hated initially was that I could not tolerate the two free souls, my brothers, when I was busy in the kitchen. But now from the bottom of my heart a loving hug of gratitude to my mother who made me good in almost every south Indian dishes. My partner is also very good in different dishes including Chinese. So am writing about a normal observation.

Being a teacher I used to ask my students who were above sixteen about their experience in kitchen when there was related topic. The most amazing fact is that when a person gets up and say “ I know how to make Maggie”. Everyone looks at that person as if he is the winner of master chef. The most difficult recipe which they know, Just to boil whatever is in the packet together and eat. I asked do you know how to make tea. It was really funny. She started explaining..put tea powder and sugar……I asked where is water are you frying tea powder and sugar..Ok then take required water..add milk and after some time tea ready….I told her that she did not switch on stove and how did she make tea without heating that???. So finally it was a funny experience. So they are not able to give a detailed explanation of a simple process essential for life but busy by hearting the difficult and complex process and solutions of physics, chemistry, biology and maths… Dear reader this is not a criticism but a topic of concern.  How do our children become like that??? Answer simple we make them like that??

Every parent who is concerned about their child make a statement whenever they come to the kitchen, “You want something to eat?? Or else you go and study, go..go.. now itself..here I will manage everything”.   So a girl is a student till the age of 22 to 24 and this is the way she is cared by the loving mother and after 24 she becomes a wife and a different life. And in that life her menu cannot be chemistry, physics, biology, maths, history or sociology. If they start eating dry bread toast every day, soon that relationship also will be like that dry toast something they don’t want to see.

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Right now we can feel it as a serious issue. Boys usually don’t go to the kitchen and if girls also come in the same track how can there be a peaceful family life? So easy way is getting parcel from some hotel, but how long???? Continuous intake of outside food affects the health and affects relationship. “There was a saying that the heart of a man can be won through his stomach”. Tasty family food which is eaten together is an integral part of a good family relationship which enhances the bond. Kitchen is the most important place of a family. Our children should be inspired to like the work in the kitchen and to be self reliant. Modern girls hate the work in the kitchen. They have less patience to do the same work which is boring. The intention of cooking has become a just filling the stomach than a field of sharing love. So it becomes a burden. If we take our grandmother and mother, without much home appliances they worked almost whole day in the kitchen, still they had patience, and no grievance. They get up early in the morning, make breakfast, that is finished, make lunch, that is finished, make snacks for evening, that is over then make dinner and after serving that wash plates do other works and sleep by 11 in the night. Next day same thing repeats and throughout life. If we think a moment about this ceaseless work we find it is boring and meaningless but if we think about the holy purpose of this work we can find it interesting.   Now people with all modern facilities don’t like to spend even one hour in the kitchen. This is not just the responsibility of girls. According to me in this modern society both girls and boys should be equally trained in kitchen work. Anyone who thinks that boys can’t cook, take a visit to the kitchen of any of the biggest hotel where you enjoy food and praise the food so much and find how many girls are cooking there. You will be amazed to see the fact. So my dear friends don’t allow the boys to escape saying that they don’t know to cook… At home irrespective of boys and girls, enough opportunity should be given to experience the kitchen work. Finally we are all working with a basic purpose of filling the stomach and if we hate that work all other works becomes meaningless.

I hope for a society where everyone becomes independent in this field and take parcel food only in unavoidable situations, be health conscious and protect the health of your body and relationships.

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LET THE CULINARY SKILLS COME BACK TO EVERY HOME.

Thank you for reading….