From infancy to old age the word selfishness is a part of our life. If we analyse an infant, in front of it if the mother hug the elder kid it starts crying. How can we interpret this reaction? Isn’t it a mild and innocent selfishness that it needs the complete care of mother and can’t sacrifice even a little for others?? The elder one also thinks many times that after the entry of the new member his share of mother’s love is reduced, though it is not the fact. Once the children grow they always prefer the best for them. There will be comparisons, arguments and even fighting for little things. Let it be a piece of cake or fish fry, they will compete for the bigger and best piece. They consider each and every action of parents to analyze who is getting more care. So the seed of selfishness that was within the infant grows and takes different dimensions and seriousness when they grow. Once they become adults selfishness becomes a part of their serious life. In this point we have to realize that there is no love without selfishness. We adjust with the selfishness of the partner as long as there is true love and if there is no true love we find them selfish. It is a feeling that everything in the life should be as I wish and am not ready to sacrifice any point for the preference of others. If we do not understand the need of others and continue calling it their selfishness, the relationship becomes a battle field. There we behave like those children who took every incident to analyze who has more right.
This selfishness is the basic reason for the increase of small families. Can’t adjust with the brothers, sisters and even with parents. So people prefer to enjoy their full life, time, money and space without sharing that with anyone. This is the serious stage of selfishness. Finally one contradictory thought “WE FIND OTHERS SELFISH ONLY IF WE ARE SELFISH’. If I want something to happen the way I wish and found another person expecting different way I immediately call him selfish but in reality it is me who is selfish. I expect that if I label him selfish he may leave the matter to my preference. If everything considered as the requirement of others and the need of others we won’t judge them as selfish. Those dear and near ones are asking for your love, care, recognition, concern and sympathy which they are badly in need of. Then how can we ignore them labelling as selfish people. Are we not the real selfish people?????
There is only one person in the life of everyone with whom you can’t find even a speck of selfishness if we evaluate with our heart not with mind and that is our biological mother. She sacrifices everything for the happiness of others and always gives the best to others. A small example which I observed in different homes, mother makes dosa (Indian food), chapatti or rotti and while serving she gives the best one, perfectly cooked for others and as a result of managing different works at the same time there might be one or two over cooked or slightly burnt food which she always keeps for herself. In this simple example we can see the vast love of mother who is never selfish. But unfortunately these innocent givers are abandoned and ignored in many homes. Others may be selfish and even father may be selfish in one or the other way, not a mother. She is the best person in everyone’s life from whom we can learn the lessons of selfless benevolence.
Thank you for reading..